Definitions

The willingness to take another person or yourself exactly as they are without expectation, criticism or judgment.

Failure to handle emotions appropriately. Basically giving up your strengths. Normally secondary to another emotion.

A person who sees what needs to be done (Judgment) and is willing to do it (Discipline).

Loss of fairness in the desire to be right. The usual outcome is making an enemy, as both arguments and fights are selfish

The ability to be passionate and devoted to balance and fairness in relationships.

The attempt to instill guilt.

The creation of personal space or area of responsibility.

The willingness to resolve conflict.

A difference between two people (see Fight). Usually a difference of opinion.

When your behavior matches your principles.

Feeling badly enough for failing in responsibility that one doesn't do it again.

The willingness to act when you are afraid or have something to lose. Courage cannot be utilized without a state of fear existing. The use of love in the face of fear.

See Adult.

The attempt to resolve a conflict by agreeing on a fair solution.

The attempt to bring attention to oneself.

Acceptance, limits on behavior, and mastery of tasks.

My fantasy of how things "should" be other than dealing with how they are. Virtually always toxic. (See Standards and Goals)

Balanced between the objectives of the parties involved.

My decision to believe in another's promises or statements.

A difference between two people plus disrespectful behavior that both engage in. Usually started by a person losing an argument

Understanding the other person's limitations. Not the same as forgetting.

An activity that is definable, doable, and done.(Measurable) The source of motivation.

The failure to assess accurate responsibility in a given situation.

The condition of living without fear.

A system in balance.

The intentional infliction of pain.

See Adult.

The willingness to control one's own behavior or to set boundary on the behavior of others insofar as it affects oneself.

The intentional statement of something known to be untrue.

Feeling good in the presence of the other. The combination of passion, acceptance and commitment.

The willingness to devote energy into accomplishment for self or assistance of others.

The experience of imbalance.

The willingness to devote interest or energy to another person or activity.

The quiet form of aggressive behavior.

That place between the two swamps (see Swamp) characterized by the creation of safety and Congruent Action.

A set of guidelines for the conduct of life. Everybody needs one, or congruence is not possible.

The intelligent management of human relationships.

The antidote to shame, blame and guilt by simply owning what is in your control, and refusing what isn't.

Physical, emotional, sexual and interpersonal sense of well being in the presence of others.

The value I place on the decisions I've made in the last 24 hours. (See Elements of Self Esteem)

The acceptance of guilt.

Mutually agreed upon minimum forms of behavior.

That place reserved for people who buy into the illusion that they will be safe if they are right, in control or better than others. Leads to argument.

That place reserved for people who lose the hope of being safe with another and therefore don't care what they do. Leads to apathy, passive-aggressive behavior.

The ability to predict another person's behavior 80-90 percent of the time in a given situation. Nobody's perfect.

The creation of mutual safety; also the product of self esteem.

What we do when we want to control something and we can't.